Cranberry Apple pie, The red headed slut of the pie world

Pumpkin pie haters of the world unite! I’ve made a lovely holiday pie certain to knock the socks off your guests. It’s Apple pie’s sultry, alcoholic sister, the cranberry apple pie. I went to my parents house today for my weekend visit. My mom handed me a container of cranberries to whip up for Thanksgiving dinner, and I couldn’t help but get into them and make some pie magic. I also snuck something else into the pie; 2 shots of peach dekuyper. The booze is cooked off while it bakes, and what you are left with is pie bliss. Plus, you can serve that up with what you can call your signature holiday drink, I personally call it a red headed slut.

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There is a war that quietly brews over pie over crust. Anyone who makes pie on a regular basis thinks that their pie crust is the best. They swear they’ve stolen the recipe from their late great granny, and the secret key to making good crust is ______. Usually some voodoo involving a blessing, your first born child and ice cold water. Anyone else’s pie crust by pales by comparison to theirs. Pie crust is almost a religion that divides some kitchens, homes, and neighborhoods. It briefly drove a small wedge between my own mother and I on the pie making front, but I prevailed. For me, nothing tops a butter crust. It might be a touch harder to make, and it might look a bit more rustic, but the taste and texture are unbeatable. I’m a crust snob. If its store bought I just assume that you hate me, and were raised by wolves. I am however a bit more on the relaxed end of things. The butter and water should be cold, and you should handle it as little as possible, but extra refrigeration etc. are unnecessary, unless its a really hot day. Its like only being religious on Christmas and Easter.

For the pie innards

8 large honey crisp apples pealed and cored

1/2 cup cranberries

1/2 cup white sugar

1/2 cup brown sugar

1/4 cup flour

1 tbsp cinnamon

1/2 tsp all spice

1/2 tsp nutmeg

1/2 tsp ginger

1/2 tsp cardamom

1/2 tsp cloves

2 shots peach dekuyper

1/4 cup butter chopped into small squares

A dash of salt

The juice and zest of 1/2 a  lemon

For the butter crust

2 1/2 cups flour

1 cup butter chopped into small cubes

1 tsp salt

1-2 tbsp cold water

For the red headed slut

1 shot peach dekuyper

1 shot jaeggermeister

Cranberry juice

For the innards, slice up your apples to your favorite pie size. Add in cranberries, sugar, flour,  spices, salt, and booze. Mix it up, and allow it to sit while you make your amazing pie crust.

For the crust, this is important. DON’T use room temperature butter. The reason people hate to make butter crust is their butter is too warm. You’ll want to handle your dough as little as possible. You don’t kneed pie dough. No one does that anymore. It makes for a tough, sad girl crust. There are two ways to go about doing it. You can mix the ingredients by hand or with a pastry blender, or you can stick the butter, salt, and flour into your handy dandy food processor, and give it a slow whirl until it forms into little crumbs. Once you get your flour, butter and salt into a crumbly mixture, add about 1 tablespoon of cold water to it. Quickly mix that in, and form your dough into two equal balls. Roll each ball out until they are just shy of 1/4″ thick. Flip one into your pie dish, and fill it with your apples and cranberries. Sprinkle 1/4 cup of chopped up butter over the top. Then roll out and flip the top on. If you get holes in your dough its ok. Grab a small pinch of the dough that is drooping over the side of your pie dish, get it a tiny bit wet, and press it into the holes.  (The best pie making tool I’ve bought is a bakers mat. It works wonders for flipping pie crusts and rolling anything out. I love it.)  A nice one will run you about $15.00) Seal your pie with any lovely method you see fit, and bake the pie at 350 for 45 minutes to an hour, until the pie juices start to bubble up. If your crust prematurely browns, just wrap a ring of tinfoil around the edges. Pull that puppy out, Sprinkle a cinnamon and sugar mixture over the top, bring on your signature holiday drink and enjoy.

4 Comments

Filed under Desserts, Holiday foods

4 responses to “Cranberry Apple pie, The red headed slut of the pie world

  1. Kristine Cimino

    Recipe stolen. No one will ever know. She’s right; it nearly came to a brawl. A pie brawl. Over crust. Crisco just ain’t worth it.

    Like

  2. raised by wolves just means given half a chance I would make a lard crust.

    butter is a good second choice though.

    Like

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