Mink Pie. Possum Pie’s Overdressed Friend

I fluffed this ish up! Is it a cheese cake? Is it a mousse? Who cares! Its delightful. You should make the mousse many hours ahead so it can set.

For the mousse its Julia child’s recipe. She was a saint.

6oz semi sweet or dark chocolate

6 oz butter

1/4 cup brewed coffee

4 large eggs, separated

2/3 cup sugar

2 tablespoons dark rum

1 tablespoon water

A pinch of salt

1 tablespoon vanilla extract

Melt together the butter, chocolate, and coffee, and mix it together until smooth. You can use a double boiler or a microwave. But you’ll be using that double broiler again in a hot minute so.. do you friend.

In a bowl over the double boiler, whisk together the egg yokes sugar, and rum and water until it thickens to tiny mayo, about 3 minutes.

Remove it from the heat, and place the bowl over another bowl of ice water, whisk it until it once again, thickens, and fold in the chocolate.

Next whisk your egg whites with the salt until they start to hold their shape and add in a tablespoon of sugar, and continue whisking until their shiny and peaks form. But not stiff peaks, and add in the vanilla.

Finally, fold the the whites into the chocolate until just combined, and pop it in the fridge to set for about 4 hours.

For the crust

1 1/2 cups of Graham cracker crumbs

5 tbs melted butter

1/2 cup brown sugar

Preheat your oven to 350. Mix together the brown sugar, melted butter and Graham crack crumbs. Press into a spring form pan and bake for 10 minutes. Then set it aside to cool completely.

For the cream cheese layer

8 oz Cream cheese

8 oz maracapone

2 cups powdered sugar

1 cup chocolate shavings? Tiny chocolate chips? Crushed chocolate ribbons? Pick your poison

Combine the cream cheese, mascarpone and sugar. Add the tiny chips after everything is well mixed.

Putting it together

After the crust has cooled, put down the chocolate layer first, filling the pie crust about halfway. Then do the cream cheese layer, about the same amount. I like to decorate mine with chocolate crisp pearls, the chocolate ribbons and edible gold dust to be super fancy, or you can just smother it with whip cream, your call. Those things are just sitting in my cupboard..

Possum pie is something you bring to the potluck when you are mad at the people attending. Mink pie is something made with love, and dressed to impress, that shouldn’t sit out on a potluck table for many hours, because it will probably kinda just melt into itself.

Easy Fancy-ass Eggplant Parmesan Stacks

(Insert 7000 word essay on why my husband likes this, and how spring flowers make me giddy here.)

This is my variation on eggplant parm. It’s different because it stays pretty crispy and isn’t a soupy damn mess after you bake it. Enjoy!

2 relatively uniform eggplants (Chinese eggplants if making as an appetizer

Salt

3 eggs whisked

2 cups panko

1 cup parmesan +1/4 cup for sprinkling (The crappy kind, otherwise it doesnt crisp up like it should. I like Kraft)

1/4 cup flour

Canola oil for frying

Marinara

1 small plant fresh basil leaves

2 logs of fresh mozzarella

Sea salt

Lay out a paper towel and sprinkle salt over the top. Slice the eggplant 1/4 inch thick and place it over the salted paper towel, then salt the tops. Let sit for an hour or so, to remove the excess fluid.

Mix together the flour, Parmesan and panko in a bowl. If you want to make this lower carb, just use the parmesan.

Add canola oil to a pan and heat to medium high. Dip the eggplant slices in the eggs, dredge in the flour Parmesan mixture and fry until crispy and brown on each side, about 3-5 minutes per side.

Preheat your oven to 400. On a baking rack on a cookie sheet stack your eggplant with 1 tsp to a tbs of marinara depending on your slice size, a basil leaf and a slice of fresh mozzarella on each eggplant approximately 4 slices high. Repeat this until all the slices are gone and sprinkle the tops liberally with Parmesan cheese.

Bake for 15 minutes or until the cheese is melted. And serve immediately.

Hints:

*The salt slows your trip to eggplant brown town, while drawing out all that eggplant juice, and there is a LOT of juice.

*Using a baking rack stops left over moisture from the eggplant and fresh mozzarella  from making everything super soupy.

Hi kids! I’m back! Probably. Many many things happened over the last couple years and I had to step away from blogging, from being a workaholic, to getting married, to having a baby. Things have evolved in my life significantly, and you’ll probably be seeing little to no 12 hour marathon recipes from me. However, in the spirit of trying new things,  I’m going to put the recipe first, that way, you don’t have to read a 20,000 word dissertation on how things are going in Brianna land Every. Fucking. Recipe. Real talk, everyone hates that. I have very rarely read the excessive extremely filtered diary / food description that is every damn blog post out there. I probably miss a lot of good tips because I don’t have the time to filter though so much content (*cough* Bullshit).  Not being mean, just being real. Let people choose to know more about things if they desire is my goal. I get that people work hard to write so much, but after a bit we can tell whats actually going on. If this hurts feelings, reflect inward. You can follow up on my life after my recipes if you’re so inclined to know my over shares! Can’t wait to get this blog up and running again!!

Italian Wedding Soup Raviolis.. They Burst in Your Mouth!

 

Weekends with lady friends are the best, I think we killed 3 bottles of champagne between us, while making these delicious dumplings. I called upon the help of my Italian friend Sarah who I leaned on heavily for meatballs and ravioli, and my trusty taste tester Jeni, to make this genius idea happen.

I have had a idea circling in my head since hitting up Din Tai Fung. And while I left there a little annoyed (not every dumpling has to be a soup dumpling, JEESE!) I thought to myself, why cant I make this into an Italian thing too. I threw around all the ideas in my head landing on a final perfect, delectable version of a ravioli soup dumpling.

Now here’s the thing, if you don’t want to spend several hours, if not days making this recipe, you can buy solidified chicken stock for your base. No judgement here. But if you want it to taste like love, make the chicken consomme at home. That way when these little suckers burst in your mouth it means that much more. The recipe for that will be at the bottom of the page, (start there) just scroll all the way down if you want to be in the cool kid club.

My ravioli sucks. Sorry kids. Not to disillusion you, but its fucking hard. So I used wontons wrappers to speed up the process and make things uniform. I did it both ways, one way making a dumpling style, using only wonton wrappers (the tastiest and least waseful way) and the other using my ravioli stamp (hella wasteful and more thick)

Italian wedding soup raviolis  (serves 4 healthy eaters)

3 cups chicken consomme (recipe at the bottom of page)

100 tiny meatballs cooked (recipe just above the soup recipe)

100 wonton wrappers

For the sauce made in batches

The juice and zest of 2 lemons

1 sage plant (a small handful per batch)

2 cups of butter quartered

6 cloves finely chopped garlic

a small fistful of fresh thyme

salt

pepper

Putting It All Together

Place out several wonton wrappers. There is significantly less waste if you fold them. place a meatball, and a teaspoon of the consomme in each wrapper, seal the edges and set them aside in batches.

Bring a pot of salted water to a boil and cook the wontons for about 3 minutes. Remove them from the water with a slotted spoon, and briefly set them aside. We did about 4 batches of these. So in each individual batch you’ll use about 1/4 of the sauce ingredients.

In a large pan, while the water is coming to a boil, melt the butter and allow it to brown slightly with the garlic, sage, a large pinch of fresh thyme, salt and pepper. Add in the lemon and lemon zest, give it a stir, and toss in your first batch of of the wontons.  Saute them for 3 to 5 minutes on medium heat. Repeating these instructions with the following batches

Garnish with a little parsely and sprinkle some romano cheese on top.

These are Sarahs Tasty Balls (halved)

1/2 lb ground pork

1/2 lb ground beef

1/2 c grated parmesan

3 cloves finely chopped garlic

A small handful of chopped parsley

1 egg

1/3 c bread crumbs

a splash of cold milk

1/2 tsp cumin

Salt, Pepper, chili flakes to taste

Mix these ingredients together by hand and form them into cm sized itty bitty meat balls. If you have left over meatball mix you can make several large meat balls to make up for the excess.

Chicken Consomme

1 Whole chicken skin removed

1 yellow onion halfed and seared (save the skins)

2 carrots pealed (save the peals)

1 celery bulb sliced and seared

A few sprigs of thyme

3 bay leaves

A few sprigs of parsley

A few sprigs of oregano

2 tbs salt

1 tablespoon peppers corns

Remove the skin from your chicken and cut it in to quarters. Sear your veggies and place them around the chicken parts. Put the herbs into a spice bag, cheese cloth, or tea strainer and pop them into the pot with the rest of your ingredients. Add water until everything is just covered and bring to a gentle boil. As all that brown sludge comes to the surface, skive it off. Let your chicken brother simmer down over 3 hours. You’ll know its done when you can grab a bone and pull it out of the soup and theres nothing on it. I also check that piece of cartilage that spurs off the chickens sternum, if its gone, you’re done!

Remove the big chunks from the stock, and strain it through a fine mesh sieve and a cheese cloth into a bowl. Let it cool to room temperature and set in the fridge over night (covered). When you wake up there will be (hopefully) A layer of fat on the top of a beautiful golden gelatinous  soup! Yay! You made food magic!  I usually end up with about 6 cups of broth. You’ll probably use maybe 2 cups worth.  If you failed at this life task, pop a packets worth of gelatin in there and carry on. Sometimes we cant win everything.

Screw Your New Years Diet! Lets Make Some Tonkatsu!

Happy new year!  I hope your new years resolution diets are still going strong. It made me think of all the wonderful things you guys are missing, like beer, pie, pasta, maybe a cheese burger or 2. One of the tasty items I considered was Tonkatsu. Marinated pork chops, breaded and fried,  with a tasty sauce. So I made some, hoping to derail a few of you. You can pretend you like riced cauliflower, and continue to tell me you managed to some how make some kind of plant based weird dessert that is flavored with organic sweat and desperation. I’ll be over here eating food that isn’t sad.

One of the things that I feel is super important with this recipe, is seasoning and flavoring your meat. Bland katsu is disappointing. Relying on sauce to speak for your meat  is a bold move that leads down a sad dark path.

2 half inch thick cut pork chops

1/2 cup soy sauce

2 tbs mirin

2 tbs brown sugar

1 clove garlic finely chopped

1 small nub of ginger finely chopped

1/4 cup flour

2 eggs

1 to 2 cups of panko

2 cups or more Oil for frying

For the Katsu Sauce

1/4 cup ketsup

2 Tbs soy sauce

1 tbs mirin

1 tbs Worcestershire sauce

Mix the ingredients together,  and set in the fridge to cool

For the Meat

Marinate your meat in soy sauce, mirin, brown sugar, garlic, and ginger for 1 to two hours.Remove them from the marinade, pat them dry with a paper towel, dredge them in flour, dip them in the egg wash, and cover them in the panko. I find only one layer is best, otherwise it becomes cakey. Deep fry them at 350 for 5 to 10 minutes or until the internal temperature reaches 145. Set it on a wire rack to cool, then serve it with the katsu sauce, and toast the inevitable diet derail.

Fried Sticky Rice Musubi

Musubi is one of those things, if you aren’t a spam eater, that you look at and really judge a person hard for. I was one of those people. You won’t catch me eating spam and eggs anywhere but in a campsite, its not something I stock in my cupboard, and it probably never will be. However, after careful consideration, if you throw some musubi in front of me, I’m going to eat it. Especially if that spam on the inside is still crispy and a little hot. I made it the normal way a few times, and was pleased. But then I thought to myself, how can I offend everyone, and make something delicious at the same time. And so, my newest culinary abomination was born.

For the rice:

1 cup glutinous sweet rice soaked for 2 to 24 hours (Your choice. I tasted no difference and the cooking time was almost identical.)

2 oz chopped shiitake mushrooms

2 oz chopped up chinese sausage

1/2 yellow onion chopped

2 tablespoons small dried shrimp

1/2 cup chopped scallions

a generous splash of soy sauce

and even more generous splash of chinese shaoxing

sesame oil

Salt an pepper

Nori

Spam

Rinse your rice until it runs clear after soaking it. In a steamer pot, steam your rice for about 15 minutes. While your steaming, cook the sausage. Add the sausage to the the steamer and fluff it with the rice at the 15 minute mark. Continue steaming the rice until its cooked.

While the rice is steaming saute the mushrooms, onions, salt and pepper in the left over oil from the sausage, and a little bit of sesame oil. Add in the dried shrimp halfway through. Once your rice is finished cooking, add it to the mushrooms and onions. Finally splash in the shaoxing wine, soy sauce, scallions, and little extra sesame oil.  Gently mix everything around in the wok until its well combine. Remove it from the heat and set it aside.

Set up your sushi station. A truthful moment here, I have literally nothing for making sushi. So, what I do is take a moist rag, spread it out over my counter so there are no wrinkles, and place saran wrap over that. Then place the nori over one side, and moisten one edge.

Cut the spam into 1/4 in thick slices, and fry it.

While its frying, spread the rice over the top of the nori, place the still hot slices over the rice, and roll your sushi. Give it a squeeze, let it sit in the towel and saran wrap for a minute or two. Remove only the towel, slice it up, and serve it.

 

Not your DFAC’s Shrimp and Grits

I have no standing room as a grit expert. For years, the only grits I had had, were  from the army dining facility, or waffle house. They were grey, lumpy, lacking actual texture. So imagine my surprise when a good friend ordered them at a local brunch joint and they were a beautiful golden red color, teaming with flavor and artistically presented. Who woulda’ thunk that something I had previously referred to as gruel would turn into such a beautiful swan of dish.

So, along with my experience eating grits, is my experience making it. So, if you have any amazing suggestions in the fine art of making grits please, don’t hesitate to send me down the right path.

For the grits

2 cups water

1 cup chardonnay

1 cup chicken broth

juice of one lemon

1/4 cup butter

1 cup stone ground grits

Melt your butter, add in the water chardonnay, chicken broth and lemon juice. Slowly pour in your grits, while stirring. Continue to stir until they thicken up. Then start on your shrimp, occasionally giving the pot a stir while everything is simmering away.

Quick note, A lot of the shrimp flavor is hidden in its shell, after shilling them, retain half of those shells to simmer with your shrimps for an added boost.

For the shrimp

1/2 cup butter

1/2 cup wine

1 red pepper

1 shallot

6 cloves garlic

1 tsp chili flakes

1 lb shrimp

1/2 cup shrimp shells in a cheese cloth or large tea strainer

A handful of chopped  fresh dill

A dash of salt and pepper

Melt the butter, and add in the wine. Place your shells in the cheese cloth or strainer to get that tasty shrimp flavor out of them. Add in the red pepper, garlic and pepper flakes. Once the pepper has softened add in the the shrimps. Cook them until the tails curl inward and they turn red and add in your dill.

Remove the grits from the burner, and serve them into bowls, placing the shrimp mixture over each and adding in a healthy serving of the sauce.

Tada! Amazing, flavorful, shrimp and grits, that don’t make you feel like you’re in prison.. Yay!

 

 

Shrimp Manicotti is Good For Your Body

Winter nights make for amazing food. Part of what I love about winter, is having every excuse in the book to sit at home, and dream up tasty tasty foods to make, while having zero guilt about not going out into the drizzly mess outside. This dish is actually fairly lazy. With only about 20 minutes of prep and a generous bake time, you’ll have plenty of time to look like you spent all day slaving over a hot stove, when you really spent the day binge watching  Netflix and staring woefully out at the rain.

10 Manicotti – cooked to al dente

16 oz ricotta cheese

1 lb shrimp minced with shells removed

1/2 lb chantrelle mushrooms

1/2 cup romano cheese

6 cloves garlic

1 shallot

2 tablespoons fresh thyme, dill,and oregano

1 tbs butter

salt and pepper

2 cups marinara sauce

12 oz grated mozzarella cheese

Saute shrimp and chantrelles with shallots, garlic and herbs until just cooked, and set that aside too cool. Cook your manicotti to just on the hard side of al dente, usually about half the cook time on the packaging.

Once the shrimp mixture has cooled, mix it with ricotta, half the mozzarella, and Romano cheese add in salt and pepper to taste, and pipe it into your manicotti tubes.( I used a super fancy method of placing all of my mixture into a Ziploc and cutting off a corner at the bottom, and squeezing the mixture through.) After you have piped in all of your mixture, line the bottom of a casserole dish with marinara, place you manicotti over the top, add another layer of marinara, then place a heavy smattering of mozzarella and Romano cheese to the top. Bake it at 400 for 30 minutes.

Seared Lemon Ahi Tuna with Cannellini Bean Mash

Seared ahi tuna is one of my favorite treats. My lovely cousin stopped by and I decided to make her something special. So I put on my thinking cap, and whipped this bad boy together. The creamy cannellini bean mash mixes really well with the peppered ahi tuna.

1 can cannellini beans

4 slices of bacon, fried and cut into pieces

1 onion chopped

6 garlic cloves minced

1 chicken bullion cube

half cup wine

1/4 cup Romano cheese

a few sprigs of fresh thyme and oregano

1/4 cup heavy cream

zest and juice of 1 lemon

salt

pepper

bacon grease for frying

Fry up your bacon. Using the left over bacon grease, blanch the garlic and onions with a little the lemon zest, and salt and pepper. Add in the herbs, 1/2 a cup of water, wine, lemon juice, beans, and the chicken bullion. Simmer that down until the water has reduced, add in the bacon,  romano cheese, and heavy cream and mash everything together.

For the tuna

2 tuna steaks

Juice of 1 lemon

salt

2 tbs  fresh ground pepper

1 tsp garlic powder

1 tsp onion powder

Before you start anything marinate the ahi in lemon juice, salt and lemon zest for 30 minutes. Mix together pepper, salt, garlic and onion powder  on a small plate and coat both sides of the tuna. Place oil in a cast iron skillet  on medium high. Sear each side of the tuna for about 1 minute each side. Slice the tuna as you see fit, and place it on top of the cannellini bean mash.

Fried Curried Sweet Potato Gnocchi with Coconut Cream Dipping Sauce

Gnocchi isn’t just for Italian food anymore, kids. Apparently you can make it into a misshapen little gargoyle of a Thai appetizer too. Feel free to make an entire batch, turn on netflix, and pop them in your mouth like potato chips.

Making gnocchi is hard. There are easier renditions, my favorite is Kenji Lopezs’ ricotta gnocchi, mainly because its a lot harder to jack up than its potatoee… cousin. Don’t believe those people that say its really simple. Their beautiful photos, with pristine unfloured hands, gently shaping ridges into the sides with a fork are all a great big lie. Its gooey. Even when you bake the potatoes instead of boiling them (Hint: DON’T boil them). If you add too much flour it changes the flavor and texture, too little and you are covered in the worlds stickiest potato and flour paste. Then, if you feel like making your little dumplings a bit more lovely you better place their little friends in a pile of flour, otherwise they’ll melt to your counter/baking mat/each other/what ever surface you’re using. Once you get the hang of it though, like everything else in life, it becomes simple, because you know what to expect.

For the Gnocchi

2 sweet potatoes baked (1 hour) or microwaved 8 minutes)

1 1/2+ cups flour

1 tsp salt

1 tbs brown sugar

1 tbs curry powder

1 egg

Coconut oil for frying

Remove the potato from their skins after baking or microwaving them, and run them through a ricer, or mash them until all of the lumps are gone. Add in the salt, brown sugar and curry powder. Fold in your flour. The consistency that you are looking for is still slightly sticky but still easy to cut and separate into sections. Cut it into 4 sections, and roll them into worms approximately 3/4″ thick, and chop those into 1 inch pieces. Bring water and a pinch of salt to a boil and toss in your gnocchi in batches for about 3 minutes at a time While the others are waiting to cook, you should have them resting on a light bed of flour, so they don’t stick to everything. Remove the gnocchi with a slotted spoon allow the excess water to drain off and pop them into a frying pan with coconut oil. Lightly brown both sides and serve.

Dipping sauce

1 can coconut cream

1 chicken bullion cube

1 tbs red curry paste

1 stock chopped lemon grass

1 shallot minced

4 garlic cloves minced

1/4 cup thai basil chopped

1/4 cup cilantro chopped

juice of 1 lime

5 red chili peppers

salt and pepper

Put your coconut cream in a sauce pan, and add in all of the above ingredients. turn the heat to medium low, and let it simmer, occasionally stirring it, while you make your gnocchi. Once you have simmered it down a tad, pour it into a blender and puree (or use a hand blender). And there you have it.

Note: This is equally as tasty with sriracha mayo. Buy it or make your own with half a cup of mayo and two tablespoons of sriracha

Break up Mediterranean Yogurt Chicken With Greek Salad

Why is this a break up dish? Its a breath bomb, that will let a fellow down easy, while letting him know at the same time there will be no room, for a post break up snog, nookie, or any variation of that. It lets him know politely that you still want to be friends, but the kind that don’t touch. Now don’t you worry your pretty little heads, Kris and I are just fine, but after I chopped up an onion and a bulb of garlic for this meal, I laughed to myself, realizing I would be permeating garlic for the next week.

I used goat yogurt, because I wanted to show all of you, that there are many kinds of yogurt. Not just that Greek paste, that leaves a weird layer of white yogurt smegma around your mouth, and destroys the planet, one overly thick spoonful at a time.

4 large chicken breasts tenderized (you can use your break up fists for this…. or a mallet… either way..)

16 oz goat yogurt

6 cloves of garlic minced

1/2 a purple onion minced

1 tsp garam masala

1/2 cup finely chopped parsley

1/2 cup finely chopped cilantro

The juice and zest of 1 lemon

salt and pepper

1 grated Persian cucumber

Salt the chicken and set it aside. Combine the yogurt with the garlic, onion, cilantro, parsley, lemon, garam masala, and lemon. Split it in half, saving one section for dipping later (add the Persian cucumber to that one). Put the chicken into a zip lock bag, pour in the other half of the yogurt, and set it aside for at least an hour to soak up all of those tasty tasty flavors. Once you are ready, remove the chicken breasts And either grill them or fry them for approximately 5 minutes each side (depending on thickness) The more you use your break up fists, the thinner it will be….

For the salad

I hate salad. This is all guess work by the way…who measures things for a salad…. hang your head. Salad is supposed to be fun and creative.

2 finely chopped hearts of romaine

half an onion finely sliced

two large fistfuls of cherry tomatoes

2 pealed Persian cucumbers sliced

1/2 a cup kalamata olives

10 chopped up slices of salami

6 to 10 marinated artichoke hearts

feta cheese

For the vinaigrette

half a cup olive oil

half a cup white balsamic

1/2 tsp salt and pepper

3 cloves of garlic

1/4 cup sun dried tomatoes

1/2 cup finely chopped basil

Combine all of these ingredients in a blender and push puree. Spread liberally over your salad, and enjoy your new found freedom.

Cupcake Rage, and a Low Carb Beni, with a Fancy Bacon Lattice for two

This weekend I went to the Ginkgo petrified prison… I mean forest. Its what appears to be around 22 logs, set in holes all over  Wanapum recreational area. They are firmly secured under grates so that the hippies don’t steal them to make their tea. The rest is just interesting kinds of animal scat, and the rolling hills of Washington’s lovely desert. And this one (literally one) really cool wild flower…

 (Note: not a single F**K was given about the prison logs. Nothing is pretty about log jail.)

Its been a slow two months, don’t get me wrong, I’ve been cooking, but blogging took a back burner to living life and having a good time. That and I’ve been on a diet. While its wonderful to make all of the tasty treats that my little brain dreams up, sometimes I need to slow my roll. So here’s some diet food. If you still want your bread, might I suggest going the biscuit route… a big fluffy biscuit… with loads of butter, and tiny bits of finely minced garlic and onions spread all throughout it…  Ps. Thats the kind of torture this has been for me. If you walk by me with a cupcake right now I will knock you out, with what I call my fists of hanger, and step on your throat while I slowly eat the whole thing.. Smooch.

6 pieces of bacon cut in half

6 eggs

2 cups arugula

1/4 cup hot melted butter

juice of half a lemon

salt

pepper

cayenne pepper

Preheat your oven to 400 degrees. Arrange your bacon in two tightly woven lattices. Bake for 25 minutes, then switch to broil for 5 minutes to get the top extra crispy.

Poach four eggs, (bring the water to a light simmer, pop them in for 3-4 minutes and spoon them out once they have solidified to your liking.

Take the two remaining eggs, and whisk them with a little salt and lemon juice until they thicken. I like to pretend I’m making a mayo. That way my hollandaise doesn’t separate.  Take the hot butter, and slowly pour it in, while whisking the eggs with all your might. Once your mixture has thickened add in some cayenne and a little pepper. You can use a blender for this too, but I broke mine. So do it the hard way. Like me. All the time.

Arugula does something very tasty to hollandaise and eggs benedict. This isn’t just a pretty green garnish. Toss the arugula on a plate, gently set your bacon lattice over the top, followed by the poached eggs, and heavy smattering of hollandaise sauce.

This was good enough to curb the cupcake rage. Remember kids, if you give up your cupcakes, you can have tasty tasty butter…

Peter Rabbit Munched on My Herbs, So I braised Him With a little Red Wine

We’ve been on a rabbit kick for a while. Its wonderfully lean, in fact its so lean, if you were, a hobo, living off only rabbit, you could actually starve from a lack of fat in your diet. It packs a protein punch, but that is all. Rabbit tastes a bit like a chicken mated with a wild bore, and instead of creating a misshapen little gargoyle, it made an adorable tasty treat.

Rabbit is tough, and if you aren’t going to grind it up into a tasty croquettes, most people stew, or slow cook them. Which is why I chose to braise, but if you know any other cool rabbit tricks, please done hesitate to pass them on.

For the Marinade

1 rabbit butterflied

1 shallot

4 cloves garlic

1/4 cup white balsamic

1/2 cup olive oil

2 tbs fresh thyme

1 sprig of rosemary

1 tbs lemon juice

1 tsp salt

4 bay leaves

pepper

For Roasting

1 purple onion sliced a few times width wise

1 bulb of garlic, top removed, and drizzled with olive oil

Those extra sprigs of rosemary and thyme

3 cups red wine

Take all of the marinade ingredients minus the rabbit and bay leaves, and puree them. Pop them all into a bag with your rabbit, and bay leaves.Let that marinate for 2-4 hours. After your time is up, heat up a cast iron skillet to high,  and seer the rabbit on all sides for a few minutes. Remove the pan from the heat, and add in the onions, bulb of garlic, and herbs. Place the rabbit on top, sprinkle with a little salt,  add in half the marinade, and the red wine. Cover it with a lid and roast it at 325 for an hour and a half, occasionally basting it with the juices. Serve that up with your favorite sides and enjoy.

Roast Pork Tenderloin With Homemade Apple Sauce

I spent the weekend attempting to catch a few rays of sun. Unfortunately we made reservations before the weather report came out, and spent a very wet weekend in and around Leavenworth and Wenatchee. Its amazing how a little rain can completely hide a mountain that is very literally right in front of you. At least I got to spend the weekend stuffing varying kinds of wurst and beer into my mouth, which led me to remembering that I hadn’t written anything about my tasty tasty pork tenderloin roast.

Pork is indeed a nice sweet meat. When I was young it was always paired with my grandmothers homemade apple sauce. That’s still the case. I made this roast for valentines day and really cashed in on the whole pork theme, with a bacon spinach salad, and carbonara for sides. Enjoy!

1 2 lb pork tenderloin, separated

1 white onion finely chopped

4 cloves garlic minced

2 tablespoons fresh thyme

1/4 cup romano or parmesan cheese

olive oil

salt

pepper

Preheat your oven to 400. Rinse, and pat dry your tenderloin. Coat it in olive oil, give it a generous sprinkle of salt and set it on a wire rack while you prepare your crust. Saute your garlic and onion until blanched with a little salt and pepper. Add in the thyme and half the cheese, and set it in the fridge for a few minutes to cool. Once it is cool enough to handle, top the roast with it, and sprinkle the rest of the cheese on top. Roast for 30 minutes, or until the internal temperature reaches 145. Let it sit for 10 minutes, and carve it up!

For the Apple Sauce

2 apples pealed, cored, and chopped

1/2 cup of water

the juice of half a lemon

a smidge of lemon rind

2 Tablespoons sugar

Add your ingredients to a small pot, bring to a boil for a few minutes, then drop the heat to a low simmer (medium low), and let it sit there for about 30 minutes to an hour. Give it what should be a quick and easy mash, and set it aside to serve with your tenderloin.

Dead Men Tell No Tales Black Risotto With Polenta Stuffed Squid Hoods. Release the Kracken!!!

This is one dark abyss you shouldn’t fear. Well… you can fear the prep as your rip your tiny krakens apart, cutting off it eyes, and squeezing the innards from its delightful hood. Risotto is rich. So is this stuffing. This makes enough for 4 people. I highly suggest serving it with a salad just to bring the rich down a notch. The whole thing is very involved, there is multi tasking. It might be a two person job, but its well worth the work.

For the squid

2 pounds of medium sized whole squid

8 oz finely chopped crimini mushrooms

4 oz diced pancetta cubes (or/and bacon)

2 chopped shallots

2 cloves garlic minced

2 oz crab meat

1/2 cup yellow corn meal

1/2 cup of bread crumbs

Juice of 1 lemon

1 egg

salt

pepper

1 cup Flour, mixed with 1 tsp baking soda,  and a whisked egg for batter

Oil for frying

To clean the squid, pull the heads the hoods, and set them aside. Remove the gladius (Pokey, semi hard thing sticking out, and squeeze out the innards. Remove the skin layer, thoroughly flush the inside, and stick them in a bowl of lemon juice and salt. Take the head, chop off the eyes, pull off its tiny beak and give it a little squeeze just to make sure you got everything. I told you, its ok to fear this part. I have a low threshold for gross, and this got me a little. Give the tentacles a rinse, and add them to your hoods for about 30 minutes if you have a few squids that are too small for stuffing slice them up. When they finish marinating, pat the tentacles and the hoods dry.

Take the mushrooms, pancetta, garlic, shallots, and celery, and saute them in half the butter with a little salt until blanched. Remove it from the heat and let it cool. While its cooling, cook up 1/2 a cup of cornmeal. Bring 2 cups of salty water (add about a tsp of salt) to a boil and slowly whisk in the cornmeal until it thickens, remove it from the heat, stir in the mushroom mixture, and add in the crab meat, breading, and lemon juice. Once its cool enough to touch, stuff the mixture into the squid hoods. You can spoon it in (painfully messy), or take a pastry bag.. or a ziplock with a corner cut off, and squeeze it in. Secure the hoods shut with a toothpick. Dip each hood into a whisked egg, and dredge it in the flour. Set it on a floured plate while you cook the risotto.

For the risotto

1 1/2 cups arborio rice

5 cups chicken broth

2 packets squid ink

1 minced leek

4 cloves garlic

1 celery stock finely chopped

zest of 1 lemon

a small pinch of saffron

1 cup red wine

salt

pepper

1/4 cup butter

1/4 cup Romano cheese

Heat up the chicken broth, and squeeze in the squid ink (try to get it all out of the packets). Leave that on low, so it stays warm and combines well with the ink. Saute the leak with the garlic, lemon zest, celery, saffron, salt and pepper in butter, until its blanched. (At this point heat up the oil for frying your squid) Add the rice to the onion mixture and let it simmer for just a little bit, before you add in the wine. Once the wine cooks into the rice, begin to ladle in the chicken broth, slowly stirring it in until it dissolves into the risotto. Continue to do this until you have about about 2 cups of broth left, and start frying your squid. I did mine only 2 at a time so I could multitask, You have to watch the squid, because if they get too well done, they pop, violently, and you don’t want that at all… mostly because its very scary. Once they are golden brown, place them on a paper towel, to absorb the excess oil.  When you finish ladling in the broth and reducing the liquid, add in a pad of butter, and the cheese, and let it sit for five minutes while you saute the remaining tentacles in a little butter until they stiffen and begin to curl. (They have flavor from the lemon juice and salt you set them in don’t add more seasoning). Sprinkle your little squid buddies on your risotto, and finally serve it all up. Gobble down that black richness till you’re out of breath. You deserve it. You defeated the kraken today. Sooo rich, sooo delicious.

A Radically Red Radicchio Beet and Quinoa Salad

One of my favorite couples got married last weekend, the wedding was amazing,  and their dinner menu was phenomenal. When the salad came out, after the first bite, my boyfriend quietly whispered in my ear, “Can you make this for me?”. So I made this little bad boy from what I could remember.

Radicchio is bitter. I’ve done many stupid things in my day, and because of those stupid, stupid things, I’ve learned to combat certain flavors, like bitter, or spicy. The sneaky trick is sweet and salty, and sour. I find that a combination of them really does the trick. That is why I made a honey vinaigrette to make it tasty again.

2 cups of red or tri-color quinoa

1 finely chopped head of radicchio

one can of sliced beets

1/2 a thinly sliced red onion

4 very thinly sliced radishes

one blood orange with skins removed

1 tsp salt

juice of one lemon

Rinse your quinoa, and put it in a small pot with 4 cups of water. Add in the lemon and salt, bring it to a boil for 1 minute, reduce it to a simmer and let it cook for 15 more minutes. Remove the quinoa from the heat, spread it out over a large dish and cool it in the fridge for 20 minutes while you prep the rest of the salad. Once the quinoa has chilled, mix it with the rest of your ingredients, add a bit of salt and pepper, and serve it with the vinaigrette.

For the vinaigrette

1/4 cup olive oil

1/4 cup white balsamic vinegar

2 tablespoons honey

Bring out a jar with a lid. Add these 3 ingredients, and shake it like a bad puppy until its completely mixed. TADA Vinaigrette!

Gala Pork Pies, I was feeling so hipster, I Put an Egg In It

Something I have seen, and screwed around a lot with lately is sticking eggs in random things. From ordering burgers topped with eggs, to sticking it in my marinara. They’re lovely. They take on sauces, mix well with oils and grease, compliment and coat. They also look pretty bitchin’ in savory pies.

A couple weeks ago, I stuck an egg in my pork pie. I had my friend Nikki over for a delightful day of baking. I fully admit that I initially had a hard time with this pie crust. If you read my blog often, you know I’m a fan of the butter crust. I use it for everything. However, for traditional pork pies, it calls for a hot water lard pie crust. Its different kids, but it still needs to be cooled down. If you don’t cool it down, its like rolling out really thick paste. I had to make it second time after the fact to make sure I hadn’t taken a bus down knuckle head lane.

There are a few ways to skin this cat. The first time I made them with Nikki, I put them in ramekins. It would have happily made about 6 of them, if I had 6 ramekins, and wanted to double the crust recipe. The second time I made it was in a rectangular dish. It fits the meat far easier.

For the filling

1 lb ground pork

1 lb pork tenderloin minced

2 slices of bacon chopped

1 white onion chopped

4 cloves of garlic chopped

1 apple minced

1 tbs sage

1 tsp salt+

pepper

1 raw egg

4 soft boiled eggs (6 if you’re using ramkins)

Combine your meats. Add in the apple, garlic, onion, sage, salt, pepper, and mix them. Soft boil your eggs (put them in water on the stove on high, and when they start to boil set the timer for 5 minutes. When the timer goes off, plunge them into ice water for 30 minutes, and peal). Cook a tsp of the meat mixture to make sure that you like what you have, season accordingly, and set these two aside while you make your crust

For the crust ( for an 8in rectangular baking dish. Double if using ramkins)

2 1/4 cups of flour

1/2 cup lard

1/2 cup butter

1 tsp salt

2 tbs boiling water

Mix together your flour and salt. Bring your water to a boil, as well as the butter and lard. Add the boiled water, and butter and lard to the flour, and mix it with a wooden spoon until it form into a crumbly dough. Form the dough together into a flat ball, and refrigerate it for an hour. Once your hour is up, kneed your dough into 2 equal sized balls. Roll out the first dough, flip it into your dish, and put approximately 1inch of the meat mixture into the bottom of the dish, and space out the eggs so they fit evenly, and fill the dish the rest of the way, but not over filling it. Roll out he final ball of dough and cover the top, joining the edges. Bake at 375 for 1 hour. Remove from the oven, cool to room temperature, and enjoy (about 3 hours).

Seafood Eggs in Purgatory. Its Monday. I Feel Like One of Those Eggs.

I feel like I have a literal and figurative cloud over me right now. Its a typical drizzly, rainy, wet Monday here in Seattle. I’m pretty sure the first world is plotting against me. My device I ordered isn’t functioning right, the Seahawks lost, my rennet and citric acid said it was delivered, but no package is in site, and I bought a $7 gallon of milk to make some beautiful home made mozzarella, that  I’m almost certain its passive aggressively going bad to add a little singe to the burn of not having any cheese making supplies.

Something has become apparently obvious though, after 5 years of being out of the military, judging by that last paragraph, I’ve turned into a whiny little bitch of a hipster. Will one of my good friends, pretty please, drive over here and back hand some sense into me.

This isn’t a tale of innovation, rather, its a tale of up-cycling my leftover marinara. Last night, my super bowl dish was diablo seafood marinara with pecorino crustini. Its absolutely one of the easiest things I make It requires no skill. Huzzah!

Diablo Seafood Marinara with Crustini

1 jar of your favorite marinara

1 onion chopped

4 cloves of garlic minced

Olive oil

1/4 cup white wine

the juice of 1 lemon

1 lb clams

1 lb shrimp

1 tsp chili pepper flakes

1 sourdough baguette

1 cup grated pecorino romano cheese

Parsley for garnish

salt and pepper to taste

Slice of a baguette, and give a light coating of olive oil to each side, and set them on a cookie sheet. Gently sprinkle a tad of cheese onto each slice, and pop it in the oven at 400 degrees for 5-10 minutes. Saute the garlic and onions in a tsp of olive oil until blanched, Add in your marinara, wine and lemon juice. Bring that to a high simmer and throw in your seafood. Once your shrimp has curled and your clams have opened remove it from the heat, sprinkle with a little pecorino, garnish with some parsley and Viola! You’re done. Eat like half and save the rest for the morning.

For your Eggs in Purgatory

3 cups of left over Diablo Seafood marinara

4 eggs

1/2 a leftover sourdough baguette

1/2 tsp+ cayenne pepper

Slice up the rest of your baguette and stick it in the oven at 400 degrees for 5-10 minutes. For the marinara, remove the seafood. and set it aside. You don’t want to over cook the seafood.  Bring the marinara to a simmer, add in the eggs and let them cook. Heat up the seafood for 30 seconds in the microwave, and gently scoop out the eggs onto a plate add the seafood, and your baguette slices, and serve. Now, pardon me while I head off to the range to blow off some much needed steam.

Diet Food. Savory Yogurt Lunches. Its what you eat when you want a box of delicious pasta.

Diet and exercise kids. Its so important. I’ve been attempting to come up with different foods to eat other than a tasty tasty plate of carbs. Which means plenty of meat, veggies, cheese, and nuts. I’ve been toying with making yogurt lunches this last weekend. They are easy enough to pack into a lunch and they only take about 5 to 10 minutes to make each, and best of all they are fairly filling. Those of you that think tzatziki is as versatile as ketchup should love this! I’ll be happy with these for about a week until I’m absolutely sick and tired of yogurt. For all of these, the base is 2 slices of onion, chopped, a clove of garlic, and 1/4 cup chopped cucumber. If you plan on having it every day you can just pre chop the onions, garlic, and cucumber, with salt and pepper. I’ve also tried adding quinoa and chia seeds to this. Its not bad. Adds a bit of a crunchy factor and makes it even more filling. But it does add on the carbs.

 

The Ceviche

1/2 cup yogurt

1/4 cup salad shrimp

1/2 avocado chopped

1 small tomato diced

2 slices of onion chopped

1 small clove of garlic

1/4 cup pealed cucumber chopped

1 serrano pepper chopped and seeds removed (or left in if you like your mouth on fire)

The juice of 1/2 a lime

salt

pepper

The Curried  Salad Shooter

1/2 cup yogurt

1/4 cup garbonzo beans

2 onion slices chopped

1 small clove of garlic minced

1/4 cup chopped cucumber

1/2 a diced red pepper

1 small chopped tomato

1/2 a tsp curry powder

salt

pepper

The Flying Scotsman

1/2 cup plain yogurt

1 oz sliced scottish smoked salmon or lox

1/4 cup sliced spinach and arugula mix

2 slices chopped onion

1 small clove garlic

1/4 cup chopped cucumbers

1 tbs capers

salt

pepper

 The Smokey Spaniard

1/2 cup yogurt

1/4 cup chopped chicken breast

1/4 cup chopped cucumber

2 slices of onion chopped

1 small clove of garlic minced

1 small tomato chopped

1/2 tsp smoked paprika

1 juice half a small lemon

salt

pepper

The Caprese Loving Italian

1/2 cup yogurt

1/4 cup pancetta chunks

2 tbs basil

2 slices of onion chopped

1 small clove garlic minced

1 tbs pine nuts

2 tbs sun dried tomatoes

The Steak Chewing Cowboy (no cowboy will eat this, I’m aware.)

1/2 cup yogurt

1 small steak sliced

2 slices of onion chopped

1 small clove of garlic minced

1 small tomato chopped

1 /4 cup chopped cucumber

1 tsp flat leaf parsley

1/2 tsp horse radish

salt

pepper

French onion soup you would step over your own mother to eat

Today I’m reblogging this because I edited it to absolutely amazeballs. Sometimes you just have to revamp the oldies

Feasts of Strength

There comes a moment in every girls life where she has an excess of cave aged gruyere cheese, and is at a complete and total loss as to what to do with it. Don’t worry, I have a solution. It’s French onion soup. French onion with enough Swiss and gruyere to almost be a choking hazard.

What is cave aged you ask? It’s not actual cheese that is aged in a cave(it should though. I want a cave full of aged cheese), but cheese that is aged in specific cave like conditions. For example, humid, chilly , but not so chilly that it doesn’t age. It is then left there for over 3 months. What you get, is a cheese that is moist, but not gooey, flavorful, and smells like a hobos armpit. Don’t smell it. Just eat it. Some things you should just stick in your mouth and not…

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Tempura Mahi Mahi with a Rice tower

My name is Bri, and I sometimes when I make food I don’t follow directions when I should. This took a minute to get right. Its involved, and my kitchen looks like a tornado hit it after I’m done, but its so worth it that I’d do it again, and again. This recipe makes enough for 2.

Tempura is a frosty mistress. And by frosty, I mean you should make sure your batter is extra chilly. I did not the first time. So instead of  tempura I got a delightful battered fish that would have gone really well with some fries and a beer. After another attempt I hit the nail on the head. Its perfectly crispy, and the rice tower takes this recipe right over the edge into awesome territory.

For the Ponzu Sauce

1/2 soy sauce

1/4 cup mirin

juice of 1 orange

1 tsp brown sugar

1/2 tsp finely minced ginger

Mix this all together, and set it aside to marinate in its own flavors. You should pick up this mess. Its small, but it gets bigger if you don’t.

For the Rice Tower

2 cups rice

3 cups water

1/4 cup mirin

1/2 cup crushed wasabi nori

1 cup chopped cucumber, seeds removed

1/2 purple onion chopped

1 avocado chopped

2 tablespoons wasabi mayo

1 tsp sugar

sesame oil or regular oil

Chop up the avocado and set it aside. Put the onion and cucumber in a bowl with half the mirin, and the sugar and set that aside as well until things are cooked. You should pick up some more messes. Seriously.

Rinse your rice until the water runs clear. Bring the rice to a boil for 1 minute, and drop the heat to a touch above the lowest setting, cover it and let that simmer for approximately 20 minutes (fluffing occasionally). Once the rice is cooked through, remove it from the heat, and spread it out over a plate to cool (I stuck mine in the fridge to make this go faster). Once it has cooled, mix in  half of the mirin and the wasabi nori. Maybe make a little station at this point with the rice, and  the mixed onions and cucumbers, and the avocado in separate little bowls, like a little assembly line. Is your dishwasher empty? You should have done that earlier.

For the Tempura Mahi Mahi

4 pieces of mahi mahi sliced into 1 inch strips

1 cold egg whisked

1 cup I cold water

1 cup flour

2 tbsp cornstarch

1 tsp baking soda

oil for frying

You can do this one of 2 ways. I filled a large bowl with water, and ice and placed a smaller bowl inside of it. I have also stuck the tempura in the freezer for 10 minutes. Either way you want the batter to be quite cold. If it isn’t cold, you might as well just break out the french fries of sadness right now. Mix the flour, cornstarch, and baking soda in a bowl. In a separate bowl, whisk the egg and water together, and slowly add in flour mixture. Just give it a brief mix, its ok if there are small lumps everywhere.

In a large frying pan add in the oil until its about 1/2 an inch thick and heat the oil to medium . I have no idea what temperature it was. I stopped using thermometers and deep friers when I decided I hated both of those things. The google says 320 to 330 degrees, 360 for fish.  Dust the mahi mahi in flour, and dunk the fish into the tempura batter until its well coated, and fry it on both sides for about 2 minutes each side.

Putting it all together

Oil a small bowl (mine has about a 2 cup volume). Place about half a cup of rice in the bottom and press it until its flat. Smear a tablespoon of the wasabi mayo over the top, spread the onions and cucumbers over the rice, and place a layer of avocado over the top of the onions and cucumbers, then place one more layer of rice over that, and flatten it again. Flip the bowl onto a large plate, and give it a few light slams to release it from the surface of the bowl. TADA! Rice tower!! Stack the Mahi Mahi around the rice tower and pour a small layer of the ponzu sauce around everything. Then stare at the horrible horrible mess you’ve made. If you do it in the order that I have written out on here, you have time between each segment to clean! My kitchen was an epic disaster.